Woman to Women

No-Drink Minimum

Skip the sips and focus on getting to know your date

-Cheryl M. Wenzel-Nelson, M.A.

In this day of spiked drinks and date rape, a woman can’t be too careful on her first date. An innocent drink with a stranger, whether it’s wine or a cocktail, can easily take on the tones of a tragic event. But not all dates that include alcohol turn ominous. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of dropping your inhibitions long enough to become personally or sexually intimate with someone you might otherwise kick to the curb.

According to Keith R. Nelson, LCSW, “One drink for a man equals two for a woman. It takes much less alcohol for women to have disinhibition.” This means the protective part of you that whispers “This guy seems controlling” or “He was rude to that waitress” becomes more silenced with every drink you take.

Maybe you like to drink because it makes you feel relaxed and less anxious. But maybe you should feel anxious. After all, you don’t know this guy. Whether you met him through a dating service or a friend set you up, you need your “dog” radar working to pick up the subtleties of his behavior so you can judge for yourself whether he’ll “dog” you like Charlie on the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men or respect you like Ross on the NBC sitcom Friends.

Harold Cohen, PhD, from PsychCentral.com, recommends some alternatives to alcohol-free dating, like meeting somewhere other than a restaurant or bar, playing golf or ordering nonalcoholic drinks. These activities will help take the focus away from drinking and put it where it belongs: getting to know your date. Then, when your women’s intuition whispers “Be careful,” you’ll be able to hear it.